Egg Puns: Banned


Many years ago, Friday got a restraining order that makes Monday stay at least two days away from it at all times. It has become known, in common parlance, as "the weekend". This "weekend" is slightly different to most in that it is double the requisite length. To help you fill all 96 hours of work-free bliss, here are five excellent things you can do. Do them all and win a badge. Hypothetically.

Custard Factory: Easter Fayre

Bert and Gert traverse the country putting on arts, crafts and vintage markets. But this Saturday, find the Brum brothers on their home turf, at Custard Factory's Easter Fayre. Where you'll also be able to procure all the juniper from The Gin Box's big-lettered van (pictured) and peruse a range ofclassic films at The Mockingbird, including The NeverEnding Story, finishing at 3.10pm.

Ackers: canoe the city

Launching at Cambrian Wharf (opposite The Flapper), spend two hours making nice with the city from a canoe, and feel rightly worthy after you do. Taking place on Good Friday at 10am, 12.30pm and 3pm, outdoorsy types from Ackers are on equipment, instruction and guideyness. It's £35 for two adults, not including the obligatory post-match beverage. More

The Orangery: to the country

By the Gas Street Social sorts, be in the first rung of opinions on The Orangery, which officially opens at 12pm Friday, in the Worcestershire countryside. On the site of the Old Rectory House, the team's got bottomless brunching, lunching and steaking, through to Monday. It's the spring cocktails and terrace that has us planning a jaunt though. In an open-top motor we're yet to secure, obviously.

Sandwell Valley: acres of it

Less than five miles from the city, Sandwell Valley Country Park's set in 660 acres of woods, farmland and streams, with hiking, biking and maximum greenness. On the River Tame, it's also got a RSPB nature reserve, where the Japanese practice of 'forest bathing' or 'Shinrin-yoku' is actively encouraged. Decrease stress and improve your you with trees and willow tits and dragonflies.

The Electric: inside immediately

If all this outsdoorsy talk has you less than seated on the edge, The Electric's got specials that can keep you a safe distance from Vitamins D and E. Shock & Gore have a typically festive offering in the form of The Lost Boys, showing throughout the long weekend in a nod to the 30th anniversary of this brilliant blend of horror and LOLZ doing its thing long before genre-benders likeShaun of the Dead. Tickets

IMAGERY: The Old Crown (The Gin Box), Andy Mabbett Wikimedia Commons (Cambrian Wharf), Andy Hay (Sandwell)