THE LOST WEEKEND

There really isn't enough awesome left in the world for Birmingham Weekender. We may have to scour neighbouring planets for fresh supplies. But we're running out of time, because Brum’s biggest arts shindig lands squarely in the city this Friday, runs until Sunday — and because it's dead friendly — includes Saturday too. Here's the events that have us staring at the office clock. Hour. After hour. After hour.

DRUM WAR. IT'S BETTER THAN NUCLEAR WAR, MR PRESIDENT.
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Clash of Drums is a drumstick twirling confrontation of rhythm and light, with drummers leading the sort of street-by-street parade which would get them refused entry to every club in B-town. The French (Les Commandos Percu) are taking on the Spanish (Deabru Beltzak), in what will culminate in a spectacle of fire and light and sky-filling explosions. And possible war. Pre-bookable tickets have sold out. But you can call the Hippodrome on 0844 338 5000 for returns. PLUS a number of tickets will be available on a first come, first served basis at the Eastside Green site from 8pm on Saturday. More

SPOTTED: RUBBER YETI
Hummelmania is a contemporary mythological creature — the God of the workforce. For more entirely excellent made up words see here. For a tribe of rubber band clad creatures who will pop-up across B'ham having broken free of their office restraints, read on. Fulfilling seemingly mindless tasks using mime, sound and LOLZ, they create a tableaux playfully flicking the V's at the daily rituals of office life. The Tribe is the creation of London/Rotterdam-based visual artist, Mette Sterre. The world of the topsy-turvy, the un-canny and the paradox is where you'll typically find her.

CHILDHOOD SURVIVAL
As a Tiger in the Jungle is based on the true story of twins from Nepal who were sold to the circus by their parents aged five and beaten until they could accomplish the skills needed to perform. After their eventual rescue, the pair were given the chance to turn their traditional circus skills into contemporary dance artistry, and ultimately to appear in this new commission. Expect circus ceremony and spoken word, as the story of how the brother and sister survived their childhoods. On Friday and Saturday, tickets are from £15.

DANCE WAR. ALSO BETTER THAN NUCLEAR WAR, MR PRESIDENT.
Pick a side as Kung Fu meets dance in a Bruce Lee-paced street takeover, with stealth like sequences as well as the more big-ticket sort of moves. From West Mids-based Rosie Kay Dance Company, two opposing groups will move across the city and meet for a final stand-off at the station. And rather than just watch, you can basically Enter the Dragon (so get trained and join in the fight) before each of the two performances of this new and free commission, a-happening on Saturday at 2pm and again at 4pm.

MULTI-STORY ORCHESTRA
Get some Beethoven in those ear canals on Level 1 of Barclaycard Arena's North Car Park no less. Led by conductor Christopher Stark, the Multi-Story Orchestra's approach to presenting live classical music in unexpected venues has received some pretty notable plaudits (“the response was ecstatic, and it deserved to be” – The New York Times). The Weekender performances include one of the orchestra's ‘Living Programme Notes,’ where the musicians split into smaller groups around the car park, and devise interactive experiences for the audience — introducing them to the capital "T" TUUUUNES before they hear Beethoven's 5th in all its glory. On Friday and Saturday, tickets are £5.

BIRMINGHAM:
HOME OF THE BURGER

Praise be to OPM and The Meatshack for putting Birmingham on the burgery map (note to self: make a burger map). The next street food traders we hope to follow in their permanent venue footsteps are The Flying Cows, who represented Brum at last week's British Street Food Awards, and won the prize for the nation's best burger. It consisted of aged Dexter beef, cheddar, Swiss, red onion, club sauce and glazed streaky. They'll be serving it at Digbeth Dining Club tomorrow and Saturday.

HERE'S THE ANSWER...

...What's the Question? is a menagerie of sculptures, installations and films by Berlin-based artist Sofia Hultén. Like Immovable Object, Unstoppable Force (pictured), Hultén's all about showing that things do not have to be as they seem — we have no idea what led a woman to stand Austin Powers-esque in front of a steamroller. Until November 26 at Ikon, Hultén will be talking about the exhibition on November 15 (book, £3). More

COCKTAIL MEETS HAM. FALLS IN LOVE.

What's better than a really good Negroni? Quite possibly nothing, but any cocktail that is served with Anderson & Hill cold cuts gets our attention. The Figroni (£10, pictured) is a blend of Rooibos Tea infused Portobello Road gin, fig liqueur and Campari and comes with a slice of Serrano ham. Try it, and the new cocktail menu that launches at 40 St Paul's this Saturday. Also on the agenda, a hand-pulled ramon gin fizz, with Birmingham's juniper den apparently being the only place in the world you can get the New Orleans classic in this form — prebatched with Bombay Sapphire, and served through an actual ale pump (£8). And while you're there, may we recommend the newest gins the team has vigorously introduced us to — Sipsmith VJOP and Gilpin's of Westmorland. Full-leaded, ginny gins for ginny sort of sorts, have them exactly as instructed. New menu

Venue: Cappadocia, 33 Frederick Street, B1 3HH; website
Choice: Lamb chops (£18.95) Chooser: Front of house

If you don't follow us on Twitter then heavens above you really are missing out on some bang-average content. You also won't be aware that we are on the hunt for Birmingham's best lamb chop and our latest test was the new Turkish, Cappadocia, next to the Jewellery Quarter clock tower. These guys own Istanbul — not the city, that would be impressive — the extremely popular Turkish joint in Handsworth. Can we talk about bread for a minute? Freshly made Turkish bread cooked over lamb so it absorbs the fat, might be a simple idea, but in taste terms it's Steve Jobs-level genius. We love Marmaris in Kings Heath, for example, but it's bread is merely a mop. Here, at Cappadocia, it's a fully fledged meal focal point. They make it fresh, in-house and it's a slobbering great revelation. As are the chops. Price-wise they might be steeper than a Peppa Pig hill, but the smoky, crispy, fatty goodness is a hand on heart, tear in eye, triumph. What was probably unnecessary was the marathon 4am night out, via karaoke, ending in the Actress & Bishop that followed the meal. But try as we might, we can't blame the restaurant for that. Menu

POLARBEAR, POLARBEAR, WHAT DO YOU HEAR?

When the closest your son has got to his dad in twenty years is a Google search, what example does he have when fathering his own child? Light and fluffy stuff I Knew You is not. But coming from Steven Camden — Brum's own spoken-word artist, Polarbear — it's big and important and coming to a Rep near you for its world premiere. Calling himself a storyteller rather than a writer, The Times described Camden's use of language in his last show as "irresistibly vivid". From £10, get tickets to I Knew You from September 29 through to October 7, followed by a tour of libraries, community halls and cafes across Birmingham, including in Erdington, Oldbury and Balsall Heath. More

FILM PICK — KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE

If you were a fan of Kingsman's mixture of extravagant riffs on spy movie clichés and surprisingly hard-edged tone, you’ll enjoy this follow-up. Taron Egerton returns as ne’er-do-well-turned-secret-agent Eggsy, who’s forced to make an emergency trip stateside after his fellow Kingsmen are wiped out. Egerton’s a rising star, and it’s nice to see Colin Firth return as his cheekily resurrected mentor. The American presence is more a string of cameos, including a rare chance for Julianne Moore to ham it up as the villain – but the real draw is the enthusiastically non-PC tone. At least, that is, if you enjoyed the Marmite-like first film. Oh, and watch out for the BIG chase, shot in this here Brum. Times

Get schooled in the wines of Salta (yes in Argentina). Gaucho's head somm is playing teacher. On October 3, tickets are £25
Arts, records, coffee and a Kickstarter campaign. Help launch Cafe Artum or just have a sizeable nose into their plans
If you're all of a quiver over The Wilderness' new gaff, probably give their Sunday night Test Kitchen a whirl — it's £80 and they're bound to let loads of goss slip as well as feeding and watering you
La La Land's got a 60-piece orchestra for company at Symphony Hall this Sunday. But a handful of tickets remain
Keep next Saturday on the frees, Autumn Market is at The Bond complete with street food, artists and makers, musicalness and bars

"Showing off is the fool's idea of glory."
— Bruce Lee. Officially the greatest man that ever lived.

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