WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS

We know, we know. We've barely kissed goodbye to August. Nobody needs to hear sleigh bells while they’re still applying factor 30. But this one’s worth the frankly offensive levels of festive forward planning because it’s exactly the sort of event that sells out.

On December 13, Millennium Point is putting The Polar Express on Birmingham’s biggest screen, accompanied by an actual visit from the big dog, Santa, himself. And, presumably, several dozen extremely excited children.

Proceedings start at 2pm with the big fella's meet-and-greets, early presents for the kids, Christmas activities and a children’s disco, while a DJ deploys the festive bombs with absolutely no regard for anyone who thinks December 13 is still too early for Mariah.

Then, at 3.45pm, it’s movie time. The much-loved 2004 animation follows a young boy who boards a mysterious train on Christmas Eve, bound for the North Pole. It’s basically Christmas concentrated into 100 minutes.

Tickets are £22.92 for children, including their Santa visit and present, and £11.76 for adults, with everything wrapping up around 5.30pm.

All aboard?