"You Choose" - KIBOU

Venue: Kibou, 61-63 Temple Row, B2 5LS; Instagram
Choice: Volcano Roll (£21.10) Chooser: Erm, me, to be honest

I’ve finally found a way to make sushi unhealthy. Years of research. Astonishing commitment, all things considered. Birmingham’s new KIBOU will dip the stuff in tempura batter and fry it for you. My work here is done.

This sprawling, 200-cover Japanese restaurant is a gladrags affair: deep neons, dark corners, Hokusai-coloured curved banquettes and little fringed lamps illuminating your better decisions. There’s a touch of Tattu’s Instagram appeal, with the theatrical flummery mercifully dialled down. Come after dark.

Crucially, beneath the considerable decoration, the sushi is insanely fresh. Victoria favoured the Spider Roll (£21.70), ten pieces of crisp soft-shell crab tempura futomaki with tobiko and sriracha mayo, every bit as good as the crab at Gaijin, and I say that as a recovering crab at Gaijin addict. 

I went potty for the Volcano (£21.10): salmon, avocado and tobiko, lightly tempura-ed — my Eureka moment — then drizzled with sriracha mayo, sweet chilli and unagi sauce. Both rolls deliver glorious crunch without sacrificing the freshness within. That sauce on the Volcano, though, precariously balanced atop, was what won it for me. A real nine-napkin-three-shirt-oh-sod-it kind of a dish.

Pork gyoza (£10.30) and takoyaki (£11), Osaka’s crisp-outside, soft-inside octopus dumplings, rounded out our table. We reached an unspoken agreement: I took custody of the gyoza, Victoria polished off the takoyaki. No lawyers. No paperwork. Just two people quietly ending a sharing plates concept.

The following day's me made me promise I'd mention that my decision to overorder sushi and ask to have it bagged up was an act of foresight that looked, to the untrained eye, exactly like gluttony but was in fact real leadership. I recommend caning the lot while watching Dominic West in War. 

Sparkling ginjo junmai sake (£27.90) brought light fruit and clean refreshment while the Sake Colada hurled in a pineapple, coconut and lime grenade. Winning tipple, though, was the KIBOU No.3 combining vodka, Lillet Rosé, cherry and vanilla in a coupe so tall it should have a warning light for aircraft.

On dessert, the shichimi chocolate tart was incredible: rich chocolate, biscuit base, frosting and vanilla ice cream, with Japanese chilli that initially keeps its head down before gently introducing itself. Less a kick, more a warm hand on your shoulder. Not so much Sir Alex at half-time, think Gareth Southgate checking you got home okay. 

A restaurant this photogenic could coast on appearances. It doesn't at all. That freshness is why you’ll return. The fryer is why I will. We all have our own personal motivations. Menu